I've deliberately taken some time away from blogging to reflect. While blogging definitely helps it does rather make me obsess about myself.
I feel much better for it. I also feel better for having told some people about what's happening with me and the diagnosis process. It was interesting that some people immediately processed the knowledge and gave a sort of "well that explains it" response, whereas others seemed surprised, but this was due mainly to their ignorance of what AS is.
My wife's support in this has been outstanding and very necessary, as it is a big life change to adjust to in some ways, even though nothing has changed except my view of myself. We has a conversation last night about logic and processing, as she was trying to respond to me venting frustration that I don't always get what my boss is asking me to do, even when its written out, and sometimes come up with the incorrect information for a data-based task. Wife then spoke to me about how I use Google, and how she uses Google, and observed that my way of using it, to her mind, is strange, and I clearly gert frustrated with her approach to using it. However, we both end up getting results. Sometimes hers are better than mine and vice versa.
What she was getting at was that we both approach the same task in what we feel is a logical fashion, but our understanding of the task might differ lightly and our processes are different. this can lead to differing results from the same starting point.
And so it is with dealing with my boss. Whether this is a symptom of AS or not we clearly have different interpretations of what is expected, even when the question is written plainly. The process itself can change the results, and my way and my results will not always be what other people want or expect.
If I can bear this in mind when I am dealing with people's requests, it may be that I can help myself clarify what is expected, and most importantly deal more easily with the frustration on the occasions when I'm asked to do it again.
I am different. I think differently